How to “Pick your outfit appropriately”

It’s time to party, which means it’s time to choose my party out­fit. I want to look hawt but not so hawt that I “attract those not-so-respectful guys.”

Lucky for me, I found some tips on how to pull this off in “Sur­vival Guide: College-partying tips and how-tos that save your mind and dig­nity — Pick your out­fit appro­pri­ately.” This was pub­lished in The Louisville Car­di­nal:

It should be com­mon sense,” the author astutely observes, “but choos­ing the right attire for any occa­sion is cru­cial. Just in case you do attract those not-so-respectful guys,” the author sug­gests tak­ing the fol­low­ing pre­cau­tion­ary measures:

1. “Be sure to cover up the assets.” (Might I sug­gest an off-shore bank.)

2. “The goods should not be on dis­play for every­one.” Again with the commodification.

3. Wear “noth­ing see-through, too thin or too short.”

4. Show no bras or under­wear and “def­i­nitely no would-be cen­sored body parts.” (Exnay on the ass­less chapsay.)

I think it’s safe to assume based on cur­rent stan­dards of dress for men and women that tips #1–4 are meant for women. There is but one bro-tip:

5. “Guys should stick to clean shirts (if pos­si­ble).” If possible!

Remem­ber, this “common-sense” advice will help you in case you “attract those not-so-respectful guys.” Because how “not-so-respectful guys” react to you is some­thing you have con­trol over?

No. It is not.

Women (and men) have been and will be vic­tims of unwanted sex­ual atten­tion no mat­ter how they dress. After you’ve made it clear that the sex­ual atten­tion is unwanted but the per­son does not stop, it becomes sex­ual harass­ment. Sex­ual harass­ment is not caused by cloth­ing. It is caused by the “not-so-respectful guys” ASSHOLES who sex­u­ally harass.

Instead of telling women how to dress to avoid sex­ual harass­ment I don’t know maybe we tell men (and all peo­ple) not to sex­u­ally harass peo­ple at par­ties, on a boat, in a moat, eat­ing a root beer float?

Just a tip.

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