How to “Pick your outfit appropriately”

It’s time to party, which means it’s time to choose my party outfit. I want to look hawt but not so hawt that I “attract those not-so-respectful guys.”

Lucky for me, I found some tips on how to pull this off in “Survival Guide: College-partying tips and how-tos that save your mind and dignity – Pick your outfit appropriately.” This was published in The Louisville Cardinal:

“It should be common sense,” the author astutely observes, “but choosing the right attire for any occasion is crucial. Just in case you do attract those not-so-respectful guys,” the author suggests taking the following precautionary measures:

1. “Be sure to cover up the assets.” (Might I suggest an off-shore bank.)

2. “The goods should not be on display for everyone.” Again with the commodification.

3. Wear “nothing see-through, too thin or too short.”

4. Show no bras or underwear and “definitely no would-be censored body parts.” (Exnay on the assless chapsay.)

I think it’s safe to assume based on current standards of dress for men and women that tips #1-4 are meant for women. There is but one bro-tip:

5. “Guys should stick to clean shirts (if possible).” If possible!

Remember, this “common-sense” advice will help you in case you “attract those not-so-respectful guys.” Because how “not-so-respectful guys” react to you is something you have control over?

No. It is not.

Women (and men) have been and will be victims of unwanted sexual attention no matter how they dress. After you’ve made it clear that the sexual attention is unwanted but the person does not stop, it becomes sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is not caused by clothing. It is caused by the “not-so-respectful guys” ASSHOLES who sexually harass.

Instead of telling women how to dress to avoid sexual harassment I don’t know maybe we tell men (and all people) not to sexually harass people at parties, on a boat, in a moat, eating a root beer float?

Just a tip.

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